Ego Lullaby: How to Allow and Receive Joyful Dance Lessons

Today, my focus is on the enchantment of dance. I yearn for people to grasp the power within their bodies, experiencing freedom without the need for professionalism or expertise. We all possess the ability to be part of this magical existence called dance—a liberation of movement, a dance on cloud nice with our bodies, minds, and the world.

If you find yourself on cloud nine today, consider jumping up and dancing the way you desire. If you’re already dancing but not experiencing the clouds, reevaluate. Are you truly dancing, or are you stuck in your mind, forcing your body into something unnatural? The switch is always at your fingertips, ready to transform your experience into something special, unique, and desired.

Dance dominates my thoughts as I swim. In the water, I feel no exercise or effort; my body flows effortlessly in a different dimension, my mind released into freedom and joy, indulging in the creative forces of the universe.

I’m an eternal explorer, dedicated to perpetual experimentation and exploration—a journey expressing life’s essence, a path to excel as a human being, and a means to develop my soul to its highest magnitudes. The profound power of unconditional love is a constant companion in this state of existence.

Today, I’m not here as a teacher, coach, studio owner, competition judge, or professional dancer, but as a dance student. Imagine a stranger walking into a random studio, reminiscent of my beginnings at age six, exploring what’s possible today. My approach hasn’t changed since day one. I cherish being a student, and whenever the opportunity arises, I eagerly step into those shoes. What fuels this passion? What makes me, according to coaches’ feedback, an easy student to teach and rewarding to work with? Here is my approach to dancing, learning, connecting, and experiencing dance. Perhaps try it, and see if the magic unfolds for you too.

Step One
Quiet Ego Doze

As I step into the studio’s realm for my dance lesson, I intentionally whisper to my dear Ego, “Thank you. No worries, I’ll be okay. We’ll reunite later. Love you.” Shedding all the roles I wear, I encapsulate my Ego in a crystal sanctuary akin to Sleeping Beauty, resting atop a majestic mountain. It’s a haven—safe, serene, loved. I’ll rouse her with a tender kiss when the time comes. But for now, I stand alone, pure, free, a vessel open to the unknown.

Embracing a genuine approach, I enter each lesson with an open heart, ready to explore, feel, learn, and experience. In the past, this journey was intuitive and unknowing, but now, consciously, I welcome lessons with no resistance. Devoid of opinions, agendas, or specific plans, I remain open, curious, and attuned to my internal desires. Today, as I pondered, “What do I want to dance?” the answer swiftly emerged: Rumba. I crave the sensation of depth, the rise and fall within the ample range my body allows. Another day, it might be Samba—yearning for speed, power, and the exhilaration of catching momentum. As a dancer, I understand the potential states my body can inhabit, yet I also believe we all can tap into familiar, joyful states. Whatever brings you joy, prepare for the dance. So, with simplicity, I express to my instructor, “I want to dance Rumba.”

When you grant your teacher unbridled freedom, coupled with clear direction, infused with your inner passion and a readiness for exploration—void of any resistance—their ego ascends to new heights. Eager to share their wealth of knowledge, thoughts, beliefs, ideas, dreams, and stories, the teacher’s ego feels embraced, safe, and free to navigate the dance world. This moment is not about being tough or pushy; rather, the ego revels in guiding two individuals, inhabiting two bodies. It’s a celebration, a joy where you gain the opportunity to absorb the teacher’s wisdom and emotions. At this juncture, their ego becomes the essence of their dance life—a precious gift, an abundant connection. I relish plugging into that luxurious realm of someone else’s ego. Remember to serenade your ego with a lullaby; thus, the harmony endures throughout the lesson and beyond, as long as you permit.

Step Four
Embrace Complete Allowance

Now, when I have no resistance in my mind whatsoever, I touch the hand of my dance partner for today, dissolve all the remaining tension in my body, and become aware of what his body, energy is, what is the intention and focus that his body is experiencing, and as a reflection, it awakens and activates within me. That awareness is like meditation, complete presence in every movement, no thoughts, and free of judging. You just start dancing and creating.

For me, dancing is allowing. Allowing is receiving.

And what is the opposite of receiving? Resistance!

When you think about what you want and then have doubts that it will come true, it is resistance. When you think about what you want and then feel frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet, that’s resistance.

When you think about what you want and have this nagging question about deserving it, that’s resistance.

Resistance prevents receiving.

Resistance is the presence of even the lightest feeling or flavor of negative emotion within you.

The ideal is to always feel positive and good about what you are working on. If something doesn’t work, instead of dwelling on it, switch the focus. The trap of fixating on what doesn’t work happens most of the time unintentionally. Still, by doing so, we unintentionally welcome negative feelings that cause negative emotions, leaving us feeling not good, insecure, wobbly, frustrated, and lost. You might even feel it in your body, physically losing your balance. That’s a sign of resistance right there. But no worries, at any moment, you are in control of instantly shifting your focus, fixating on what does work, putting you in a good, productive, positive, and joyful state of being.

Allowing is the opposite of resistance.

Allowing is when you think of what you want, feeling the flow of positive emotions, like excitement, optimism, and positive expectation flowing your way. Positive emotions, of any form, are a massive creative force. Negative emotions, on the other side of the spectrum, are a powerful force as well, but they are a sign that you are miscreating.

When you have a desire for something, any thought that causes a negative emotion is resistance. When you feel excitement, positive expectation, and anticipation, when you have this inner knowing, a certainty it’s coming, when you feel eagerness for what you want and appreciation for it manifesting, then you are in a state of allowing, which means receiving.

The only thing that truly matters is how you feel and what vibration you offer. If you are observing with your emotions, you are observing pre-manifestation of your desire, and you have control over what will manifest. Feel good, feel excitement, feel joy, passion, love, and gratitude. Before you know it, you dance the way you love, and you love your dance. To get closer to your dream, let go of resistance and tension in your body. When you observe with physical senses, you are observing post-manifestation. The dream dance is yours!

That is the state of allowing and receiving. It is the joyful dance between a resistance-free mind and a resistance-free physical body.

As our lesson concludes, I look at the clock—the time is up. The timing perfectly aligns with the sound of the voice. I hear, “This was great. I really like dancing with you. When will I see you next?”

Who is saying those words? I feel like it could be me talking, but I am quiet. It’s not me… and yet the words are out there. It is my today’s teacher and dance partner’s kind genuine words, and it is his voice. He says it again, “I enjoy our dance.” And so do I. Now it is my turn to say it and thank him out loud. “Thank you! It was great, and I loved it too.” I look at him now and see a normal human being. He is soaking wet from dancing; he is happy, he is feeling good, and he looks like he just came back from dance heaven. I know the feeling well, just visited it myself while dancing Rumba.

Stepping into the shoes of a student, I am delighted to share with you my experience on the other side of teaching. The highest reward for me as a student after the lesson is when I see the teacher being so happy and satisfied with his own dancing, sharing with me simple and genuine words that he wants to dance with me again. It’s great and should be normal for the student to feel that they were in dance heaven during their lesson. Hurray to an awesome teacher! That is natural, to feel good! But here, I am emphasizing the higher level of experience when the teacher comes from dance heaven after the lesson with you. It’s when you give all you have to elevate the experience not just for you but for your dance partner as well, to the highest point of joy and creativity.

And that is the place where you are invited to rise and perhaps make it your new year dance resolution. Don’t you love making people feel good, happy, and shower them with gifts that lighten up their souls? I am sure you do. We all are natural givers. So, this is not “you must,” not “you should,” not “you have to.” It is not your job or obligation, responsibility, or the world’s expectation from you as a student to make your teacher sweat and happy. It’s just an invitation to take a tour to dance heaven each time you are in your lesson or practicing with your dance partner. Everyone is welcomed there, the tickets are free, and they’re unlimited!

Effect, not Infect

The natural effect of a positive dance experience described during the time of dancing, be it a lesson, practice, or performance, is inspiration. People suddenly come to you with genuine and kind feedback. Some compliment your choreography, energy, or dancing overall. Some pro-am students are in awe, with tearful eyes saying that they never saw their teacher dance like this before, they saw something in them that they didn’t know existed. Some jokingly notice, “Wow! He never ever sweats with me like this, ever… I want to dance what two of you danced; I love it. “

It’s such a joyful effect: Inspiration for all, from teacher and student to all who are present in this vibration and energy at the studio or dance hall. We are dancing to inspire and be inspired, after all, to feel good and to have more joy in our lives.

The opposite of effecting people with inspiration is infecting them with negativity, low self-esteem, doubts, absence of confidence, frustration, anxiety, and all kinds of negative emotions.

Find something that makes you happy in your dancing today, focus on it, fixate on it, hold on tight to what makes you feel good and gives you positive uplifting joyful thoughts and feelings.

Be happy! Feel the gratitude! Dance is a magical gift! And dancing with another human being, or for other people, is a privilege and joy beyond magic.

And I am off to my next dance journey. Diving all in. Feeling GOOOOOOOOOOD!

Hope some of this will be useful for you. Happy dancing!