Who Really Creates Problems? Life Events, Circumstances, People, or Ourselves?

Interestingly, I’ve even had people tell me that my problems are blessings, or they’ve said, “I wish I had your problems.” This makes me wonder about the nature of problems themselves—are they purely subjective? Maybe what seems troublesome to me could actually be desirable to someone else under different circumstances.

Over time, I’ve noticed that my problems usually fade away. This observation leads me to wonder: do these problems simply vanish, do I somehow resolve them, or do I just stop acknowledging their existence altogether?

Let’s consider problems—or as I prefer to call them, essential challenges. Sometimes, it might be best if these challenges remain unseen. There’s undeniable value in the role that challenges play in our lives; they invigorate us with feelings of satisfaction, happiness, and excitement—emotions that are crucial for a vibrant life. In this sense, every problem could be viewed as a precious gift.

Reflecting on my experiences, I realize that every challenge has ultimately guided me to a better situation. The path wasn’t straightforward and often far from comfortable, but these problems have undeniably opened up new avenues that were previously either closed or invisible to me.

I’ve taken to approaching these challenges head-on as if embarking on a unique journey. It’s clear that problems are a daily occurrence, not just appearing sporadically but constantly surrounding us, much like the people in our lives. I have choices in how I interact with them: some I greet and engage with, others I choose to ignore, and a few I scarcely notice. Occasionally, I find myself spending more time with a particular problem than I might have intended, forgetting that I can walk away at any moment without any obligation to stay.

By rethinking how we perceive and interact with these issues, we can embrace problems not just as nuisances, but as opportunities for personal growth and discovery.

Problems have no issues with us; they are surprisingly pleasant companions that can keep us company whenever we need them.

Fascinating Facts About Problems

Problems are a universal part of human experience, but how much do we really know about them? Here are some intriguing facts about problems that have profoundly changed the way I think about the challenges I face. Perhaps, you’ll find them interesting as well:

• Problems Encourage Brain Growth: 
  Neuroscientists have found that when we solve problems, our brain cells form new connections. The more problems we tackle, the denser the connectivity in our brains becomes, which can lead to improved problem-solving skills over time.
• The Role of Sleep in Problem Solving: 
  Ever heard of “sleeping on a problem”? There’s scientific backing for that advice. During sleep, especially during the REM phase, our brain reorganizes information and can come up with creative solutions to the problems we faced during the day.
• Problems and Creativity: 
  A study involving more than 1,000 problem solvers worldwide showed that inventive solutions come more frequently from changing your perspective rather than doggedly using the same old techniques. This is why brainstorming sessions encourage wild ideas; they might lead to a novel solution.
• The First Step is Often the Hardest: 
  Psychologists believe that acknowledging the existence of a problem is often the most difficult step in the problem-solving process. Once we recognize that a problem exists, we are already on our way to solving it.
• The Social Nature of Problems: 
  Sometimes, problems are only visible to those who are prepared to see them. Like optical illusions, what one person easily notices might be invisible to another.
• Cultural Differences in Problem Perception:
  Research indicates that different cultures perceive and handle problems in distinct ways. For instance, Western societies tend to view problems as challenges to be conquered, while Eastern cultures might see them as a natural part of life to be accepted.
• Problems as a Sign of Progress: 
  In the world of software development, encountering problems is often seen as a sign of progress. It’s believed that if you’re not finding any problems, you’re probably not testing thoroughly enough.
• Historical Problem Solving: 
  The ancient Greeks had a myth about the Gordian Knot, a seemingly unsolvable problem. Alexander the Great “solved” it by cutting through the knot with his sword, leading to the saying, “Cutting the Gordian Knot,” which means solving a complex problem with a bold stroke.
• Problems as Pathfinders: 
  Every problem you encounter is not just an obstacle; it’s an invitation to a new adventure, a nudge towards exploring uncharted territories in your life.
• Invisible Helpers: 
  Consider problems to be like secret agents working in the background. They might mess things up a bit (okay, sometimes a lot), but they always leave you with valuable lessons, new insights, or unexpected outcomes.

Every problem has a story, and each story holds a lesson.

Many years ago, when I first arrived in the United States from Russia, I faced a significant challenge: I couldn’t understand or speak English. Despite this, I was required to teach from day one, so ignoring this problem wasn’t an option. I am grateful for that period in my life because it taught me to understand people without words. I became incredibly attentive to body language, eye contact, energy, facial expressions, and even breathing patterns. Everything communicated something.

The people around me also brought their best selves to our interactions, communicating with me patiently, attentively, and compassionately. What seemed like a barrier initially actually fostered a special bond and closeness. I recall taking coaching sessions with Nadia Eftedal, a renowned dance coach and former world champion, known for her insightful approach to dance instruction. Even though I couldn’t understand her words at the time due to the language barrier, I was able to grasp her instructions through her body language and the intent behind her actions. This created a unique connection; the message was always clear.

In a way, it was a blessing that I didn’t form any attachments to the spoken words. I focused solely on observing her movements, her eyes, and her gestures. I could quickly gauge from her expressions and reactions whether my execution met her expectations. Without the distraction of words, which could potentially upset, hurt, excite, disappoint, or uplift, I found clarity. The relationships built beyond words became my world.

To this day, even though I am fluent in English, I continue to value non-verbal communication highly—understanding people’s energy and moods without words. Attributes like politeness, patience, and punctuality transcend language barriers. This experience has taught me that problems, when approached as opportunities for growth, can transform our abilities in unexpected and valuable ways.

By shifting how we perceive and interact with the problems in our lives, we can transform them from dreaded foes into welcomed teachers.

Remember, without a bit of friction, there would be no sparks of innovation!